6 Answer

Hello, I want to admit something first :

I'm really tired.

For years, I've been trying to become someone "worthy of being loved."

I've tried to be considerate, to give, to appear mature and reliable,

To avoid bothering others, to avoid being a burden to anyone.

But I rarely asked you :

How are you doing?

I was afraid of being looked down upon,

So I didn't dare to reveal my true vulnerabilities;

I was afraid of being abandoned,

So I habitually emptied myself to gain a sense of security;

I was afraid of not being chosen,

So I always wanted to prove—

"Look, I'm useful, I'm worthy."

But now, I finally see clearly:

Love is not something to be exchanged,

And dignity is not earned through silent suffering.

I once considered "giving" a virtue,

But I overlooked that it was slowly draining me;

I thought being strong was responsibility,

But I didn't realize that it was actually being dishonest with myself.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that for all these years, I haven't been on your side.

I want to tell you a few things seriously :

First,

You are not questioned because you are "not good enough,"

You just haven't taken good care of yourself for too long.

Second,

Your vulnerability is not a sin,

Your fear is not a shame,

Your instability doesn't mean you have no future.

Third,

You don't need to prove that you "deserve to be loved"

by being "needed."

You are already worthy.

From today onwards, I want to treat you like this:

I allow you to go slowly.

I allow you to not have answers for now.

I allow you not to please anyone.

I will learn to listen to your feelings before agreeing to others;

Before trying to prove myself,

I will first confirm whether you can handle it.

If one day,

Someone is willing to walk alongside you,

It's because you've stood firm,

Not because you've sacrificed yourself.

If that person no longer appears,

Your life won't collapse because of it.

Because you don't exist for someone else.

You don't owe anyone a perfect life,

You only owe yourself honest and gentle treatment.

The road ahead,

We'll walk together.

No rush, no escape, no more self-pity.

Written to myself

On the journey of truly becoming "myself."

Gabriel