1 To Quentin

Quentin, I guess I still don't have it like you once told me.

I'm still in the summer time zone of my own life, just as I was three years ago before you left, when you told me that if I met someone I liked, I should be brave enough to go after them and live my life the way I wanted to, and I think I'm practicing that right now, but I'm getting further and further away from the person I was, and I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, because everything seems to be going so well, but this time I don't want to believe it, because I still think I'm more suited to a life on the road alone, so that I can spend more time taking pictures of the world that you'll never have the chance to see again, and hearing stories you've never heard before.

For three years, I lived in my own world, with a camera, a paintbrush, a journal and many of your good and simple wishes from the past. I have lived a good life, though not without any worries, though I have not made so much money that I can experience the upper class life that ordinary people can not experience, but I suddenly feel as if I have been satisfied at this moment, I don't need to pander to other people any more, and I can make my own decisions about how to go on in the future, and what kind of life to go to.

I tried to create a perfect persona and present it to everyone, but I gave up because I finally figured out that it was a very boring life. I want to be as I was before, a little more spontaneous, a little more natural, not to say that I want to hurt anyone, but I don't have to spend a lot of time emphasizing my "noble" position in the group in my limited journey, and I can only be myself, just as you said, I am the one who you think you can live your own life, and I'm trying to realize it! I'm trying to live up to it.

With apologies, not only because every time I go to church, I pray that the Lord will still look out for you and your former friends, and for those who are suffering from illnesses, emotions, and spirituality, but that I will pray that I will still have something left in me, such as the possibility of still being my imperfect self, of still being able to face all of life's problems alone, of still being able to give up on everything, and start all over again. Life is a reality and there are many issues to consider, but I still remember how to stroll along alone in winter.

It's as if I should be proud of what I have at the moment, but in this moment, I also accidentally find myself the most pitiful person, because I'm constantly acquiescing to what the environment is telling me, that I can go to a brand new life, to cut all the ties of the past, and sometimes it seems to be an impromptu decision to leave the familiar, to go to the unfamiliar, and then to keep forcing myself to convince myself, that this is the life that you This is the life you deserve.

The wounds of the past turned into my favorite tattoos, and I met a lot of interesting people, but I still remember you, Quentin. Emotions like the monsoon are a constant reminder that everyone is on a journey and not to try to live the life that others tell you you should. So whether it's a bump in the road, a brief moment of joy or a long moment of sadness in front of me, I choose to trust in time, as I have many times in the past when I stood at the crossroads of my life and didn't know where to go.

Quentin, there are so many things I would like to share with you, especially since I have traveled to so many interesting places, along with so many destinations waiting to be reached: Paris, London, Antarctica, Santiago, Los Angeles, New York, Sahara Desert, Egypt, Turkey, Tokyo, St. Petersburg, Dubai, Toronto, Milan, Rome, Oslo, Mecca, Iceland... ...

I'll try to fulfill these wishes, it's worth being happy just thinking about it, there are so many places to go, I'm going to keep on backpacking and take your share to see the world 🌍

In the future I will also come to where you are, at that time I will give you a big hug and then slowly share my adventure route with you/::D

Missed you some more, Quentin!